Here Come the Robots

By Dave Trecker

I saw a good example just the other day. And I wasn’t delusional. At a promotional show in Baltimore, I watched a team of robots assemble an entire car body. No kidding. They put it together in less than an hour.

Granted the demonstration was teed up to succeed, with everything in place, well-rehearsed and choreographed. Even so, it was pretty impressive, a glimpse into the future.

And the future may be closer than we think. Many factories now routinely use robots to at least help with assembly. A Hyundai plant in Georgia deploys 750 robots to work alongside 1,450 humans, a one-to two ratio that’s shrinking. Or so says the Wall Street Journal.

And now, coupled with artificial intelligence, the sky’s the limit. Here are some examples. Carefully programmed robots can create art. I saw one on television the other day paint a pretty good Monet look a like.

Automated restaurant kitchens routinely use robots to make salads,apportioning ingredients in perfect ratios – whether a Waldorf salad ora potato salad or a Caesar salad. Human sous chefs keep the machines filled with fresh ingredients.

Cities are starting to put robots to work. Kansas City uses them, coupled with drones, to fight fires, delivering the water to exactly where it’s needed. Sanford, NC, uses them to mow lawns. Detroit uses them to scoop trash in city parks.

China is setting the standards. Humanoid-type robots are all the rage, with over 140 companies turning out ‘bots as large as 5 feet 11inches with 34 joints.

These big guys emulate their human counterparts in every way possible, including in sports. Last year there was a hilarious story of robots competing in track meets – with little success. Any race longer than 50 meters was a disaster. The ‘bots kept bumping into human runners.

More recently I read that boxing promoters are exploring the use of robotic pugilists to slam each other around a well-padded ring. Just how you count out a knocked-down machine is unclear, as is how you get the other machine to go to a neutral corner. Promoters are unfazed.“It doesn’t have to be perfect,” one said. “The fact that it’s different is good enough these days.”

Then there’s the musical robot. The one that plays “Twinkle, twinkle” on what looks vaguely like a violin. Don’t scoff. Next will be a brass ‘bot, one with auxiliary steam to go along with squeaky fingering. Drumming is an easy add-on. Can a full orchestra be far behind?

But the growth of robotics is not all silliness. The medical community is exploring ways to marshal its health benefits. Columbia University’s L.S. Dugdale claims that machines will soon be able to help the elderly get out of bed, bathe them, and help them move about the house. Writing in the WSJ, he posits that the overall cost may be about $20,000, not bad when compared with nursing home care.

Here’s the deal. Robots will be teamed with artificial intelligence and programmed to carry out routine functions. Dugdale writes that Tesla’s humanoid robots can accomplish more than 1,500 tasks, “their hands now capable of executing 60 of the 100 distinct movements the human hand can perform.”

He goes on to say, “If robots can now fold laundry, serve food, sweep the floor, operate computers, walk and dance, it’s plausible that soon they will help our elders out of bed and give them sponge baths…I think I’ll soon be writing prescriptions for eldercare robots.”

And this can’t come too soon for us old timers. We need all the help we can get.

Dr. Trecker is a chemist and retired Pfizer executive living in Naples.