Let the VOICES BE HEARD by Lois Bolin, Ph.D., Old Naples Historian

Most of us do it every day without giving it a second thought, yet talking is a uniquely human ability.
Humans possess highly evolved brains capable of processing complex language and syntax, and we can produce a vast range of sounds and tones that allow us to form hundreds of thousands of words.

To make these sounds—and to speak at all—humans use the same basic anatomical tools as chimpanzees: lungs, throat, voice box, tongue, and lips. But while chimps vocalize, humans sing opera, deliver speeches, whisper secrets, and hold conversations across continents. Over thousands of years, human evolution has given us a longer throat and a smaller mouth, both better suited for shaping sound and producing articulate speech. In short, we are wired to communicate.

The Benefits of Gabbing
Rumormongers. Chatterboxes. Busybodies. (Sigh.) Gossipers rarely get flattering labels. Yet emerging research suggests that gossip may not deserve its bad reputation after all.

A theoretical study conducted by researchers at the University of Maryland and Stanford University argues that gossip can actually serve an important social function. Defined as the exchange of personal information about absent third parties, gossip can provide a social benefit by spreading information about reputations. This allows people to identify cooperative individuals while avoiding those who may be selfish or untrustworthy.

While previous theories suggested gossip helps bond large groups and encourage cooperation, this research sheds light on the individual advantage: sharing information can help people navigate social environments more wisely. Sometimes, talking isn’t just idle chatter—it’s social intelligence at work.

Gala Gabbing
Of course, knowing when to talk is just as important as knowing why we talk.

The purpose of a charity gala is to raise funds, educate attendees about a cause, and elevate awareness for an organization’s mission. Conversation plays a vital role in all three—when done thoughtfully.

Jean Shafiroff, a renowned philanthropist and author of Successful Philanthropy: How to Make a Life by What You Give, outlines essential etiquette for galas: When seated at the dinner table, avoid texting or talking on your phone. If necessary, excuse yourself and step away. A good guest engages in conversation with others—but never during speeches or formal remarks.

In these moments, listening becomes just as powerful as speaking.

Quiet Honors A Story
And this is where my story begins.
Remember the old television commercial: When E.F. Hutton talks—people listen. That’s exactly how I feel about Brenda Melton, founder of the Celebrity Martini Glass Auction (CMGA), a creative and impactful fundraiser that significantly supported Naples veterans.

The auction began in 2008 when Melton invited friends to design martini glasses inspired by Sex and the City. What started as a fun idea evolved into a beloved charity event. Its final tribute took place in April 2022, marking more than a decade of meaningful community support.

Brenda, along with Linda Shiapro Meak and Patti Cox Erwood, invited several women to coffee at Grappino to discuss an initiative aptly named ‘Let the Voice Be Heard’.

These charity mavens had extraordinary stories—and even better advice—to share. Brenda opened the conversation with her poem, “I Have Something Important to Say” (and did she ever). Patti followed with her sweet Southern voice flowing like warm honey over steaming cornbread. She reminded the charity “sistas” to set listening expectations, noting that people don’t chat during speeches to be rude—it’s usually out of habit.

That’s when the word epidemic came to mind. Having lived in this paradise for more than 45 years and attended more events than “Carter has little liver pills” (another classic commercial), I believe we’ve reached a tipping point. Patti Cox Erwood addressed the issue of side-talking or phone use while a speaker is addressing an audience. In a Facebook post, she noted that it disturbs those trying to listen and dilutes the message—for the speaker, the audience, and ultimately, the mission itself.

As Patti so simply put it, “We are trying to bring awareness to people to be respectful and to let the voice be heard”—without alienating donors.

Sheila Zellars said it best: “Be present in the present.” Something magical happens when generosity is paired with reverence. There was a plethora of blue-ribbon ideas and thoughtful quotes shared on how to delicately address this issue—one that seems to arise whenever people with shared values gather with open hearts and honest voices. Funny how that happens.

To learn more about the Let the Voice Be Heard: A Blue-Ribbon Initiative, please contact Brenda Melton at gsbn3971@gmail.com.

See Dr. Bolin on 239LIVE! Podcast every Friday morning at 8 a.m.