Page 47 - April 2015 Life In Naples Magazine

DOCTOR’S CORNER
chance of divorce than those who offline. It has been suggested
that some of the psychological screening done in the course of
participating in an online dating service helps with long term
compatibility while simultaneously decreasing loneliness.
HOW CAN WE ALL DEAL
WITH LONELINESS?
HERE ARE 14 TIPS, FROM A
VARIETY OF SOURCES, TO CONSIDER.
#1 Realize you are not alone. At various times of our lives
we are all lonely, particularly during life transitions. Moving to like-minded folks. Your attitude is
a new city, starting a new job, getting married, major illnesses,
loss of a loved one are all major stresses and can potentially
cause loneliness.
#2 Get involved in activities. Nothing happens when you
stay at home. Join a sports league; take a class, volunteer—there
are so many good and worthwhile activities to engage in.
#3 Don’t participate in a “Pity Party.” Dwelling on how you
feel—particularly when you are not well—only makes things
worse. Stay busy, make up projects, have a purpose in life and
make detailed plans to keep yourself busy and engaged.
#4 Do social activities by yourself.This is hard but is similar
to “fake it until you make it.” Go out and “take yourself on a
date.” Get involved in activities you enjoyed in the past. You’ll
enjoy these undertakings again.
#5 Get a pet. President Harry Truman once said, “If
you want a friend in Washington, get a dog.” Pets have been
successful domestic companions for eons. They are trustworthy
and affectionate. And you’ll meet other dog owners while
walking your pooch.
#6 Call or get together with people you know. Human
contact is so important and even if this is the first step to
connecting, get started. Martin Luther King said,“Take the first
step even though you can’t see the top of the stairs.” Connecting
is more important than anything else.
#7 Challenge yourself to take the initiative in social
relations. It can be painful at first but once you make contact
and have even modest success you will change your spirits for
the better.
Life in Naples | April 2015
#8 Spend time with your family
(which is always a good idea even
when you are not lonely). Sharing
past memories, breaking bread
together, enjoying comfort food, or
whatever gets you reconnected.
#9 Be a pleasant presence as
folks gravitate to happy people
and avoid grumps. We bring our
own weather and aggregate with
reflected in those around you.
#10 Join an online community. Communication comes in
all forms you can join others digitally. The over-65 age group
is the fastest growing segment of internet users. For one thing,
they often have more time.
#11 Differentiate between loneliness and solitude.
Loneliness is when you are unhappy to be alone. Solitude is
being happy to be by yourself which is more than okay in this
frantic world with instant 24/7 access to everything.
#12 Take advantage of the time of being alone by doing
things you enjoy doing. If you like to read, write, do puzzles
or whatever, then indulge. You will be back in circulation soon
enough so enjoy the time alone.
#13 Learn a new skill such as playing an instrument,
learning a new language, drawing, writing or whatever you have
longed to do but never had the time.
#14 Exercise. It releases endorphins which are endogenous
hormones associated with feeling good. Exercise can also be
done in a group which adds interaction.
So, there you have ways to cope with loneliness, a common
problem that most of us experience sometime in our lives.
These commonsense, simple-to-do and practical activities
will break the cycle. It is up to us to help ourselves. In other
words, make a better life by creating it for yourself.
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