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Heart to Heart

Falling Into Reflection

by Karen Coney Coplin

he coming months in Naples bring a possible to slow down and be present with the people that I'm lucky
time of quiet transition as summer eases enough to love.
T into fall. Hopefully, hurricane season will One of those is a girlfriend who began a second career as an attorney
conclude without incident for us and for others. in town and she's doing well. Amazingly so actually! It makes me
As we move into this next season at a gentler especially happy that she's not stopping at that threshold of "doing
pace, there is a thoughtful opportunity to think well." She is exploring her creative side which feels a gift, her true
about what you may be carrying and what you nature. One of her passions is creating remarkable mirrors flanked by
might be ready to set down. mussel and other shells. These often come from meals, leftovers in the
For me, reflection has become more than just most literal sense. Which she then transforms into something lasting
a seasonal theme. Since last September, I have lost and beautiful instead of being discarded.
four dear family and friends, and was reminded that grief doesn't Each mirror seems to hold both artistry and a place in time and
arrive like a single visitor. It comes in waves. Sometimes these are space; a little Naples landscape gracing the walls at home.
gentle and sometimes they feel like the tsunami that they are. But as This got me thinking that mirrors are about seeing a reflection of
powerful as that it is, it's a reminder that love and friendship remains what's in front of them. At the same time, they change the room around
within, even when the physical person is gone. them by brightening spaces, stretching light, and inviting you to pay
And at the same time, two of my peers were diagnosed with brain attention to the way you might show up.
cancer. Truly heavy stuff. It's the kind of news that makes time feel In her mirrors, I see a message I've been living this past year. You can
both urgent and strangely slow. For me, it's definitely a reminder be reshaped and still shine bright. You can grieve and appreciate that we
to pay attention to life's little challenges in a new way. Some things all have the power of creativity within us. You can carry love into new
will matter more. And, I've also noticed that I can no longer pretend forms and with actions.
what doesn't matter. Some of these might be reconnecting with an old friend; checking
The backdrop of all of this: Naples continues to offer its own on someone who has been a bit more quiet than usual; dropping a
lessons. Storm season brings preparation and safety reminders. Even handwritten note or colorful postcard in the mail; inviting a neighbor
so, we can't control everything but we can always choose how to to coffee; and encouraging or mentoring someone beginning a new
respond. We can reframe and rebuild, refresh and adjust. It's a way of chapter.
looking at our days from a different perspective. We can return to the Right now, this is what loving kindness and reflection looks like to
same routines and know that even in the familiar light, something me. Writing in the morning, and taking in the early light while birds
inside has shifted. sing around me. It looks like letting myself feel what's inside without
This realization has shown up for me in different ways of rushing to fix it. It looks like shifting my thoughts to lighten a heavy
changing, coping and accepting. I'm reminded of spring cleaning, load. The truth be told, not everything needs to stay.
though, as fall approaches, the idea of making room holds weight. If you've lost someone, you can release the burden of carrying it as
Not just tackling my closet as I need to do, too, but clearing space in pain that never changes shape. If you've been living through a difficult
my heart. Opening up to what's new while honoring the meaningful diagnosis, it doesn't mean that you abandon caution and medical advice.
memories. You can make space for laughter that will return (believe!) with the
As with this column, one of the ways I know to do that is to support of steady, funny friends and family. We can all be hopeful and
write. realistic at the same time, whatever our situation warrants.
Recently I restarted journaling after attending a class about For life in Naples, we've been good "after." After storms and after
"Morning Pages," at a locally owned bookstore, Books on Third. the summer heat. Through all this we can look around and ask, what can
I first embraced this practice in 2019 when I was diagnosed with I release and what can I return to?
cancer myself. (This class was actually about a work of fiction derived As for myself, I'll stay busy making room. I'll move forward carrying
from the actual a.m. practice of free writing.) love. I'll be writing what weighs me down and what inspires me. I'll keep
Back then, it felt like placing a hand on a railing while I felt myself honest in both regards. And, I'll be watching renewal happen in
unsteady. These pages didn't take my fear and uncertainty away. But the creative work of a dear friend.
it gave me a place to tell the truth on paper. There was no need to That's not a wish just for me, but for all of us. We probably will
argue about it but simply to accept it. never find the perfect calm. With a steadier heart, though, we will all
The concept of morning pages is one which show that I don't find ways in our own time to return to ourselves.
have to react to every emotion. I don't have to organize every Here's to a little more light and a little more room within us all.
memory in one sitting. Like the honoring the lives of those who In lightening our load, we might find we have space and energy to lift
have passed, it's a way of bearing witness. someone else through a kind word or deed.
Sometimes these pages hold sadness. Then, there's a spark of Please contact Karen at NaplesKCC@gmail.com with suggestions for
new possibility. And almost always, there's a form of gratitude. future article coverage, which is often centered on charitable organizations
Sometimes it arrives later than I like, but it's welcome regardless. in Naples and the programs/services these groups offer. Additionally, for
With that, I remember my life is happening right now. It's always more vignettes about life in Naples, give her a follow on Instagram @
Naplesbythenumbers

I'm abundantly thankful to call Naples my home and to connect with you here.
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