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Conflict Resolution

or just Fuhgeddaboudit

by Sandra Lee Buxton
A new year and a new attitude, or maybe just for self. Obviously if it's "all

about you" then resolution
a new perspective. I decided to make this
Conflict Resolution Month perhaps you'll take
for "self" then discussions
up the cause as well. We're all familiar with conflict, is impossible. If concern is
have experienced it and dealt with it differently with will be in the competition or
each passing decade of life. What was a hot button in fight mode. This actually is
our 20s is barely recognizable in our 40s, and after 50, more about one's ego and the
well, who cares! That’s the way it should be, we sort out situation at hand has lost its
"stuff" differently and determine what really matters. significance.
Learning to manage emotions and conflict will have So let's bring up emotional
a positive impact on your overall relationships and intelligence (EI). This relates
certainly your health. to the capability of individuals
Conflict happens between two individuals (or groups) to recognize their own and other people's emotions
when they perceive that there is a lack of compatibility and sort out the different feelings labeling them
between each person(s) goals and objectives. There is appropriately. It is said that people who have high
usually the belief that one person is interfering with EI have greater mental health, job performance and
another's attempt to meet their own goals, often leadership skills. They also have more friends since most
resulting in a "who's right" standoff. So ask yourself, of us choose to live with one another in a civil manner.
what is the source of this conflict and does it even Those with low EI are what is considered a "white
matter? There is nothing wrong with having a difference water" personality, always keeping things stirred up
of opinion, it's when we meet our needs at the expense regardless of how it affects those around them. For some
of another's that a problem develops. very obvious reasons they have issues with relationships
Once identified, it is important to deal with conflict across the board.
early and directly so that parties don’t become so married Resolving conflict with a person who lacks empathy
to their positions that the ability to hear another is lost. and utilizes poor listening skills is a challenge indeed.
Unless a situation involves legal matters or ethical/ But take the high road and don't write them off without
moral issues, negotiation is usually possible. It starts by hearing them out. They could have information that you
acknowledging that barriers to agreement exists but start have not yet considered and in fact it may alter your own
with commonalities and negotiate the difference. position. The bottom line is this is a new year, let's make
Behaviors are very telling in dealing with conflict, an effort to have less conflict by making better choices.
some show concern for others and some show concern

80 Life in Naples | January 2017