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“Socially competent children who
cooperate with their peers without
prompting, are helpful to others,
understand their own and other’s
feelings, and resolve problems on
their own are far more likely to
earn a college degree and have a
full-time job by age 25 than those
”without these skills.
“From an early age, these skills can determine whether a child
goes to college or prison, and whether they end up employed or
addicted,” according to this study funded by the Robert Wood
Johnson Foundation.
#2. Parents who have high expectations for their offspring
likewise have successful kids. “What you think will happen does,”
is an expression my parents imprinted on my two brothers and
me. More formally this concept is known as the Pygmalion effect:
“What one person expects of another can come to serve as a self-
fulfilling prophecy.”
During the post World War II years, generations of Americans
moved to the suburbs with the aspiration that the next generation
would have a better life and more opportunity than the former
generation. Thus a college education was an assumption for
everyone. Consequently, in many upwardly mobile suburban
communities, more than 90 percent of high school graduates went
on to higher education.
A more recent study by the University of California evaluated
findings from standardized tests for 6,600 children. It showed that
57 percent of the kids who did the worst were not expected to attend
college by their parents, while 96 percent of the kids who did the
best were expected to go to college.
#3. When a mom is working, that is a big predictor of success as
well as getting beyond gender inequality. No one is more efficient
than a working mom. Noted Harvard Business School professor
and author Kathleen McGinn, “There are very few things that we
know of, that have such a clear effect on gender inequality as being
raised by a working mother.” Daughters of working mothers are
more likely to be in a supervisory role and have 23 percent higher
earnings. Sons of working mothers also contribute by pitching in on
household chores and becoming more independent and responsible.
#4. One characteristic not easy to change is poverty. Sadly, a fifth Striving for success and avoiding failure at all costs become a way of
of American children grow up in poverty. The gap between high-
and low-income families is roughly 30 percent to 40 percent larger
today than 25 years ago. In general the higher the income of the
parents, the higher the SAT scores of the children. Having books in
a home, and having the ability and time to use the public library are
also characteristics of higher socioeconomic homes. Socioeconomic
status drives much of educational achievement.
Life in Naples | December 2015
#5. Having parents with higher
educational levels tends to “rub off ” on
the offspring. University of Michigan
psychologist Sandra Tang found
mothers who finished high school or
college were more likely to raise kids
that did the same. Teenage moms who
didn’t finish high school have children
who are more likely not to finish high
school. This is a multigenerational
problem. Parents’ educational level
when their child was eight years old
significantly predicted educational and
occupational success for the child 40 years later.
#6. A very interesting fact is that learning math skills early on
was a huge advantage—not only for the math itself but also future
reading achievement. The paramount importance of early math
skills (knowledge of numbers, number order, and other rudimentary
concepts) is the key, according to Northwestern University
researcher Greg Duncan. The three “R”s—reading, writing and
arithmetic—have real impact on scholastic ability, which in turn
facilitates success.
#7. Sensitive caregiving during the first three years of life is
important not only for better academic performance but also
for healthier relationships and greater academic achievement in
adulthood. Mothers who could recognize the different meanings
of their infants’ cries and thus were in tune with feelings were a
factor in better long-term outcomes. Responding appropriately and
promptly to their child’s signals provides a secure base for children
to explore the world.
#8. We know that spending time during the first three years of
life pays big dividends later on. Conversely, spending too much time
with “intensive mothering” (aka “helicopter parenting”) can have a
negative effect. Stress in mothers can be contagious. “Emotional
contagion” is a real psychological phenomenon. If you hang with
optimists, your personality brightens. The reverse is also true.
#9. How children (and adults too) perceive the source of their
success contributes to achievement. A fixed mindset assumes that
our character, intelligence, and creative ability are static “givens”
which we cannot change in any meaningful way. In this situation,
success is the affirmation of that inherent intelligence, an assessment
of how those givens measure up against an equally fixed standard.
maintaining the sense of being smart or skilled.
A growth mindset, on the other hand, thrives on challenge and
sees failure not as evidence of un-intelligence but as a springboard
for growth and for stretching our existing abilities. These two
alternatives are articulated by Stanford University psychologist
Carol Dweck.
Those are the nine characteristics which surely make a difference
for the next generation. Getting kids off to a good start is among
the best achievements for society. It helps everyone lead a longer,
happier, and healthier life.
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